Finding Faith - Ch 1

It's always easy to keep faith in ourselves and the world when waters are calm, and everything is going our way. You believe that things are going to turn out great. How can

they not, when things are looking so great right now? There's absolutely nothing to worry about!

Well that's the Curse of the Rose-Colored Glasses, as I like to call it.

When the boat starts to rock, it can get a little harder to remain confident, though not impossible. We, as humans, have a naturally persevering nature about us, and it's not too hard to retain at least some certainty that things will turn out just fine. The Rose-colored Glasses are just a little dusty, that’s all!

But what about when that boat starts taking on water, and begins sinking?

...what about when there is no longer a boat to keep us afloat?

Then Fear starts to creep in, not unlike the cold that seeps into your bones after being immersed in the water of the ocean.

You tell yourself, 'Keep strong. I will not drown. I can easily keep my head above water, at the very least...'

At some point, however, it's not just the cold water of Fear reaching your bones. Its Fatigue, Weariness. Then, Doubt. Doubt in yourself; doubt in your situation getting any better.

Until, at last, your head slips beneath the surface of the water...

Now what? You are drowning. There is nothing left, and frankly, you are too tired to fight it any longer.

This is rock-bottom. The Rose-Colored Glasses have shattered, and the shards seem to mock you; seem to stab into your very eyes.

Well my friend, that is an excellently illustrated depiction of my situation not too long ago, and I want to share with you a little story. A story of finding faith, even when it seems like perhaps there is nothing to invest faith in.

.......

Recently, I found myself in a situation that caused me to be without a home. Being the resourceful personality that I am, I was perfectly fine with this, and not worried. Granted, I was all but alone, but I at least recognized my ability to survive. 

I was this way for approximately a week's time.

One night, however, I found myself 'overdrawn' within my bank of resources, so to speak.

Now, I'm not going to lie, and you might have expected it: I was homeless. On this particular night, one could see the frost forming on the blades of grass outside, and there was a certain chill to the air that froze your soul and numbed your limbs until they were slow-moving. Like I mentioned before, up until this point I had been quite resourceful, and had not yet had the misfortune of staying out-of-doors.

Now, however... my Resource Bank was depleted.

The building I was in was closing for the night. People were leaving, traveling home to their welcoming beds and warm meals. Speaking of Starbucks coffee's and their plans for the next week amongst each other, never paying mind to the girl bundled up and on the sofa.

I kept glancing outside as the night wore on, that very fear of which I had spoken of quickly creeping into my soul. This was the end; I would soon taste that bitter cold, and the shards of my Rose-Colored Glasses were within my weary eyes, bringing forth the waters within.

A man was walking in my direction, bearded face white and weathered with age. I had spoken to him before - hours previously he had discovered my hidden location, and was suspicious of the homely girl stowed away in the community college shop room.  Each footstep that brought him closer to me also stabbed dread into my heart... I knew he

was coming to tell me that I would need to step outside. A few more clacks on the linoleum and there he was, right before me. Telling me that the building was indeed closing. I would need to head out.

However, this time I noticed a difference in his manner. He had a certain air of St. Nicholas about him, similar to the children's stories we grow up hearing; whereas in previous interactions, all I had seen was an old man who wanted a suspicious youngster away from this building. He asked me questions, and I reluctantly answered; what else was there to do? I would soon be out in the cold, anyway.

But then, the most marvelous happening occurred: this person was offering me refuge. A warm bed, a hot meal. 

Resources. 

I'll admit it, I have a lot of pride in myself. I like my independence, and I despise requesting help from any person – it's rarely freely given, and difficult to repay. But this...this was something that I felt in my bones was meant to be. This was what was intended for me. It was a certainty not unlike knowing that, there are five fingers upon each hand, and that those hands are attached to arms which are attached to...you get the point.

My glasses were no longer in pieces; my head no longer submerged. A miracle? Perhaps. Perhaps it was just a little reminder that anything is possible, and to never lose faith.

Stay tuned for the next chapter to my story!

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